Most women in magazines are retouched and airbrushed after already having a glam team style their hair, makeup, and wardrobe. On television, they also have a team for hair and makeup with the addition of well scripted and rehearsed words to appeal to the audience.
It’s easy to seem perfect, or as close to perfect as possible, when you are coiffed, rehearsed, and retouched. This is not the everyday woman, and more often than not, the women on tv and in magazines boldly share the women we see them as aren’t the real them either.
So, it is time to shed these unrealistic ideals. These are 6 tips to let go of perfectionism – a guide for women.
Notice Ordinary Perfection
Everyday, we are surrounded by things that seem perfect as they are without a desire to change them or seem them improved in some way. We can shift our definition of perfection to being perfect by something existing or being complete or even reaching a state beyond further improvement, according to Pavel Somov.
We must employ these flexible definitions of perfection to how we view ourselves. We are perfect because we exist, we are complete and appreciate the parts of ourselves that may be beyond further improvement because not everything can or should be changed.
Make Conscious Choices
Make choices understanding that perfection is not always an option, but happiness is. Choose the greatest possible good of the options available. Choose the most pleasing by self-reflection and sensory awareness.
Accept Uncertainty
When you make choices, there will never be a clear knowledge of the outcome of those choices. You buy a sweater; you don’t know if others like it. Change your haircut or shade of lipstick; you don’t know if anyone will even notice. Accept the uncertainties you cannot control. Control what you can knowing you like and feel confident with the sweater, hair, and lipstick.
Practice Self-Acceptance
Even for the most perfected photos we see, after all the work with lighting, retouching, and editing, there will be those who find flaws in the exact same photo. Perfection of anything, including ourselves, is the same. Our best self will still not be perfection in someone’s eyes, but we cannot take that to heart and think less of ourselves. Self-acceptance is its own perfection. Loving yourself and accepting yourself is a realistic view of perfection that is actually attainable.
Make Your Own Meaning
Form your own opinions and ideals of what is best rather than accepting what society, culture, or media imposes on you. While the media may tell you it is perfect to be a specific height, weight, dress size, complexion, or color, some things are beyond your control.
Fortunately, the ideal of beauty is expanding and encouraging more people to love the skin they are in, what makes them unique, and the way they are at each point in their beauty and body journey. Decide for yourself what is perfect, complete, and beyond what can be improved.
Be Forgiving and Compassionate
Most importantly, as you try things to not be perfect, but achieve self-acceptance and self-love, be forgiving and compassionate with your flaws. Reframe how you view elements of yourself, and you might see greater value.
Understand what amount of change is reasonable or healthy, and what ideals are unrealistic and unhealthy. To someone else the worst you see in yourself may be your best feature and an enviable trait.
References
Somov, Pavel G. Present perfect: a mindfulness approach to letting go of perfectionism and the need for control. New Harbinger Publications, 2010.
Thomas, Hurka. “Perfectionism.” (1993).
